New Apartment

I moved to a new apartment a week ago.  I have only slept there once (on the 3rd night i had it), and have maybe been there a total of 16 hours (including sleeping time).  I moved on a Friday, and Comcast was scheduled to be installed that day, but it didn’t happen (long, frustrating story).  I had an online midterm on Saturday so I decided to sleep at Noi’s and take the exam at her place in the morning.  I then slept at her place again Saturday and Sunday night because i would go crazy being alone in an apartment with no internet.  Finally, on Monday Comcast came to install and I slept in the new place for the first time.  My mom is also out of town so i have been dogsitting and slept at her house Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday (tonight).  Chances are I’ll have to sleep there over the weekend and through next week also.  So right now, i’m paying for an apartment that i cannot even sleep in.  I want to sleep in my own damn apartment.

I’m Good at Writing

I am good at writing.  Really good.  That is, when I want to be.  I am also very self-conscious about my writing.  When i submit a writing assignment or make a blog post, i always think it is trash.  Doesn’t matter how many times I edit and revise, i will never be satisfied, which is why most times i don’t even bother.  But after I make a post, or comment on a story, or send an email, I will re-read the damn thing dozens of times to see if i made any spelling errors, grammar mistakes, or if the thing is even coherent.  In other words, i am self-conscious about my writing (among other things).

I do a lot of business with non-native English speakers and I am forced at times to write at like a 2nd grade level to make sure they understand what i’m saying.  Its funny, its when i write properly that misunderstandings happen.  This is why at times I feel like my writing skills are diminishing because I am consistently forced to lower my abilities.

This is why I need to write more, to work my brain (as if getting a Masters in Accounting is not enough).  School turned me off to writing because of the parameters.  You have to write this, that, and the other and it has to include this, and be this long.  Again, I got exceptionally high grades on all my writing assignments in all subjects, but i hated the structure and the limitations.  But I noticed now, that when i have a topic in mind or an opinion I want to voice, i will write it. and fucking enjoy doing it.  It is soothing, and it is a great release.  I don’t care if 1,00,000 people read it or nobody expect me reads it.  The fact that i put it out there is all that matters.

So, I guess I am saying that I will write more.  But I have a tendency to say I will do things and it will never get done, so i need to change that also.

But I am self-conscious about my writing.